I RECENTLY paid Ł10 to drive around The Marquis of Bath's Safari Park at Longleat. What a farce. If any of your readers see the marquis, perhaps they might like to clamber all over his car, waving their arses in his face, pull the rubber trim off his windscreen and shit on the back of his window, see how he likes it.
WHAT A lot of nonsense this tantric sex is. So Sting can delay his climax for seven hours. That's nothing. I've been banging my missus for forty years and she's not had an orgasm yet.
THEY SAY that carbon monoxide is the silent killer in the home. Not in my house it's not. It was my husband Fred.