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THE BEATLES ARE BACK!

November 23, 1985

THE BEATLES ARE BACK!

EXCLUSIVE – THE POP SCOOP OF THE CENTURY!! THE BEATLES ARE BACK! ‘Fab Four’ re-form – new album due Yes, it’s true. Fifteen years after they split up pop legends The Beatles are set to reform. And work on a new album is already underway. Surviving members of the most successful pop group in the history of the world have consistently denied […]

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Hellraiser Oliver Reid tells his own story

Hellraiser Oliver Reid tells his own story

HELLRAISER OLIVER REID TELLS HIS OWN STORY ‘I CAN DRINK 75 PINTS OF BEER’ I’m like an earthquake says Ollie EXCLUSIVE Adapted from his book I AM AN ATOM BOMB’ © Oliver Reid 1985 I’ve always had a reputation as a bit of a hellraiser. But I can’t complain. I’m a pretty wild bloke. In my time I’ve smashed […]

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FAT PEOPLE ‘EAT TOO MUCH’

September 20, 1985

FAT PEOPLE ‘EAT TOO MUCH’

FAT PEOPLE ‘EAT TOO MUCH’ – Cream Buns named in Shock Food Report Eat too much and you could get fat, according to a report published this week. Specific foods singled out for attention include cream buns, chocolate cake and jam doughnuts. According to a survey carried out for no particular reason, many people in Britain are already overweight. And the report goes […]

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KILLER WASP SEX VICAR IN GAY NAZI STORM

KILLER WASP SEX VICAR IN GAY NAZI STORM

KILLER WASP SEX VICAR IN GAY NAZI STORM No Girls ‘Danced Naked’ in Moonlit Devil Ritual – claim By our INVESTIGATIVE STAFF A village vicar has denied taking part in moonlit ceremonies involving naked women. And Rev. Stanley Compton has denied allegations that he is a leading member of a gay nazi movement in the quiet village of Todhamlet. CHILDREN And we were unable to find […]

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SNOOKER’S HOT SHOT SAUCY SEX POT

May 29, 1984

SNOOKER’S HOT SHOT SAUCY SEX POT

SNOOKER’S HOT SHOT SAUCY SEX POT – EXCLUSIVE ‘I’M A SEXY HOT POT’ Tony’s a real tasty dish Supercue TONY KNOWLES, snooker’s number one sex symbol tells his own sensational story. The ladies call me ‘The Lancashire Hot Pot’. ‘Cos I’m a really tasty dish. BIG Being sexy is a big bonus when you’re playing […]

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Duran Duran – Band look super!

May 29, 1983

Duran Duran – Band look super!

Band look super! EXCLUSIVE After two spectacular years of success Duran Duran look set to establish themselves as the best looking band in the history of pop. For as lead singer Simon Le Bon told us, “We’re better looking now than the Bay City Rollers” BLONDE That may sound like an ambitious claim, but it […]

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Article

ZOO OF SHAME

ZOO OF SHAME

ZOO OF SHAME EXCLUSIVE Animals made love as children watched Our reporters have investigated a disturbing behind the scenes sex scandal at a leading London zoo. And we have proof that staff at the zoo in Regents Park have actually encouraged sex between animals. PENGUINS On a recent visit to the zoo we watched as […]

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Beatles Had Sex Every Ten Minutes

November 29, 1982

Beatles Had Sex Every Ten Minutes

Beatles Had Sex Every Ten Minutes The true story at last Johnny Johnson was the ‘ Sixth Beatle’ . Sacked by the band while on the verge of success, he is now prepared to tell the revealing truth about The Beatles rise to fame in the early sixties. *In an interview with Dicky Filth. I’ll never […]

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THE SHAKIN STEVENS STORY

THE SHAKIN STEVENS STORY

THE SHAKIN STEVENS STORY A VIZ TOP POP EXCLUSIVE Pop idol Shakin Stevens tells the tale of his rise to fame in an exclusive interview with Viz Comic. ‘Shaky’ Shakin Stevens is one of pop’s top names in the charts of today, riding on the crest of the wave in the revival of rock and […]

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WOMBAT WINS!

WOMBAT WINS!

WOMBAT WINS! BUT BOTHER SOON BEGINS Dustman Terry Wombat, 46, thought he was a winner when his pretty wife told him he had won the pools. Terry, 46, wasted no time in opening an account at a local department store and bought goods worth a total of £875,000, including a yacht, 7 cars, a mink […]

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BOY IN HUMAN TORCH HORROR

BOY IN HUMAN TORCH HORROR

BOY IN HUMAN TORCH HORROR By Sid Sensation A gruesome game ended in disaster for 5 year old human torch terror victim Tommy Thompson. MATCHES Tiny tot Tommy was playing at his home near a box of matches when he swallowed a battery which he had removed from his brother’s pocket calculator. HOSPITAL A doctor […]

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Life as a T.V. Tough Guy by LEWIS COLLINS

Life as a T.V. Tough Guy by LEWIS COLLINS

‘I KILLED A LION & WAS SHOT BY A TANK’ Life as a T.V. Tough Guy By LEWIS COLLINS In an interview with JAKE JOWLER On telly I always play the tough guy – perhaps it’s because of my tough background. The day I was born my dad, who had a drink problem, tried to […]

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