MUMS. AFTER your kids have mastered spelling with Alphabetti Spaghetti, buy a tin of the normal stuff so as they can practise joined-up writing.
SCRABBLE PLAYERS. If you have a Q and a U, try to use the Q for words like 'Qi' or 'Qat'. This will free up the U for words like 'Bum', 'Mum' etc.
DON'T BUY your sister-in-law a thong for her birthday then expect your wife to be pleased, particularly if you comment on how nice her arse looks in it.