Top tips

SHOE EXPRESS customers. Throw your purchases away and wear the boxes instead. They'll be harder-wearing, more stylish and better fitting.

Steph Jackson, Newcastle

AMERICANS. Build your houses out of bricks and mortar instead of cheap wood to avoid having them destroyed by hurricanes every few weeks.

Craig Meredith, e-mail

WOMEN. DON'T waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shit anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged.

Lee Cawood, Hull



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