Top tips

HUSBANDS. Prevent stress build up by accepting that your wife is never going to suck your cock again and handing over your wallet so as she can go shopping.

Mrs. Realistic, Everywhere

SUPERMARKETS. Save money on printing by labelling your 'Economy' goods 'Shit' instead.

Cat & Trev, Newcastle

TV BOSSES. Improve the quality of live TV news by giving 'roving reporters' the sack on air if they say 'erm...' more than three times in a single report.

Mark Glover, Coventry



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